Surrounded and Alone

I am currently in the exactly same spot as many Americans.  Despite a fairly impressive resume full of experience, I languish among the ranks of the unemployed.  I am in the same spot as so many others, and yet it is a very lonely spot.

Every day I get up and go through the job ads for the day, doing research on organizations and following up on leads I have.  Every day I carefully craft resumes and cover letters specifically for jobs that look like a good fit.  Every day I pray that today may be the day that the phone rings.

There are many many people who are being very supportive of me.  I have family and friends who have been very generous in helping me get by financially and in keeping my spirits up.  I appreciate each and every one of them.

However, as the weeks go by and the phone call doesn’t come there is this crushing weight of rejection.  How could I have been wrong about those jobs that seemed so perfect?  I want to share with my friends the interesting opportunities that are out there and my hopes and dreams for a new job, but I can hardy bear it when they (very kindly) follow up weeks later wanting to know what happened.  Because, chances are, nothing will happen.  There will be silence.

When you’re used to working, creating some sort of a product, you are used to getting feedback on things.  You write a report and your boss loves it or hates it.  Imagine a job where you constantly received assignments that go off into the void with no response.  Now imagine that the job doesn’t pay.  Now imagine that the people around you are all handing in assignments, receiving feedback and getting on with their lives, while you wait to here something, anything.

I’m far from the first person to suffer through this.  I know I am very blessed to have a roof over my head and that some day I will be jealous of all the free time I had during this time.  I will yearn for the time when I could finish a novel in a few days, write blog posts, play with the kids and sit endlessly in coffee shops.

I hope that this time will make me more compassionate the next time I’m doing the hiring!

In the meantime I continue to pray.  I write down my blessings to remind myself.  I pick up the book I’ve always wanted to read.  I try to anticipate a future life and figure out how to live it well.  I try not to waste the gift that today is and not to take rejection as a personal blow.


2 thoughts on “Surrounded and Alone

  1. Best of luck to you – I understand the pain you are going through! My OH was unemployed (made redundant) for almost 2 & 1/2 years. It was a constant struggle for him & for us as a couple. Something will come up – it always does & when it does it will be a great opportunity for you!

  2. I empathize with you. It’s a rough spot to be in for an extended period of time. Keep in mind that it is not personal, you will be successful and God is in control. Keep sharing the opportunities that you’re excited about. Even if they don’t pan out, it’s important to stay optimistic.

    Keep working hard at it. Soon you’ll be employed again.

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